“Good” Friends Are A Gift You Give Yourself

You know you are blessed in your life when your friends and family see you as more than you do.  You know that you are blessed when people want more for you than they want for themselves.  And you know you are blessed when these amazing people in your life hold you to a higher standard.  They remind you to follow your dreams and to not settle for anything less than who you can be.

It’s never easy chasing dreams no matter how big or small.  It takes guts, courage, strength, sacrifice, and love to believe that you deserve the opportunity to bring these things into your reality.  You have to put down your fears of the unknown.  You have to put down your fears of self-doubt.   You have to put down your fears that you you simply aren’t enough.  And, throw caution to the wind and  JUST GO FOR IT, even if everyone thinks you are crazy or they don’t understand.  

For far to long in my life I tried to please everyone, I tried to put my wants and needs second to everyone else’s and the only thing that got me was a lifetime of feeling like I was somehow less than I could have been.  It wasn’t until I realized that what I wanted and what I thought was important even if no one else thought so.  One of the hardest truths  for me to realize was that I was the only one that I had to face in the mirror and explain myself to.  Ya see when you stop listening to your heart and you kill your own spirit - you are only half of the person that you can be.  And as a half a person, you can never find happiness, you don’t believe in yourself and you rarely  follow through on your dreams .

So I have to say now when friends and family don’t understand my choices I just smile and no longer feel the need to change their minds.  That is their opinion, its not mine.  I appreciate them, I’m happy that they are in my life but they don’t live my life.  They are not me.  There job is not to always understand me, but to love me and support me.  I no longer live my life looking for approval and needing to please everyone anymore cause you can never make everyone happy.    The only thing that did was burn me out and left me feeling empty.  Empty because I didn’t try and believe in myself enough to go for what I wanted.  

There is a Gabonese Proverb that says “Bad friends prevent you having good friends”.  Good friends love you no matter what. Good friends push you to be better than you are.  Good friends challenge you.  And a good friend believes in you even when you don’t.  So don’t let bad friends hold you back because they are jealous, envious, or simply don’t understand.  Be your own best friend and surround yourself with lots and lots of good friends.  “Good” friends are a gift that you give to yourself - my update to Robert Louis Stevenson’s famous quote.  And love those friends who stop you from remembering who you are from afar. 

Life is too short to be half of the person you can be.

Till next time,


Broken promises to yourself

Have you ever made a promise to yourself that tomorrow would be different?  that tomorrow you would exercise?  that tomorrow you would eat better?  that tomorrow you would make better choices?  I think we all do this to ourselves all of the time and its a really bad practice to get into.  When you can’t keep your own promises to yourself, what do you think that does to your own self-esteem?  to your own belief in yourself?  and to that annoying voice in the back of your head that always reminds you that you are not good enough?  It gives them power over yourself - you make that damn voice louder in your head cause you’ve given it more references to remind you why you can’t succeed the next time you fully intend to.  And quite honestly, I’m beyond sick of the crap that makes its way into my brain when I’m trying a new challenge or trying something completely new for the first time.

I finally have learned to turn down the volume of this negative voice - a friend of mine calls this voice the “Wizard” its not magical in any way but it sure seems to think it knows all doesn’t it?  It sure has an unsolicited opinion about everything I want to do.  I’ve learned that when I really want something, I get excited and start to make moves in a positive direction but then the “Wizard” magically shows up.  And the question is - why and where does he come from?  The “Wizard” is simply all of your fears and insecurities all rolled up in one really loud voice.  And it seems the more you have given into this voice - the louder he thinks he is and the more influence he has over you.  The absolutely only way to turn down his volume is to keep on going after what I want and to reach my goals.  The more goals I reach the less power he has over me and the less and less I pay attention to him.

So I started small and learned to keep the promises that I make to me and this absolutely keeps me in check.  It reminds me to make sure my goals are realistic cause every time I follow through the “Wizard” has less and less power to influence me.  And as the goals get bigger they are so much easier to reach when there isn’t a really loud, annoying voice playing in your head giving you a laundry list of why you’ll never have what you want.   What do you think, want to play with me and turn off your own “wizard” in  your own head?  We’ve all heard the saying “to thine own self be true” I’d like to add keep the promises you make to yourself, they are greatest and simplest gift you can give to yourself.

Till next time,