Faking Yourself Out?

A friend of mine has recently reminded me what it is to just have absolute blind faith, throw caution to wind, move several states away and just follow your bliss and your dreams.  Sure we all have dreams, goals that just seem out of reach but what would happen if you stopped giving yourself excuses and went after your dreams with everything you have?  Would that be the end of your world?  I say most definitely, it would be THE END OF THE WORLD AS YOU KNOW IT, but would that really be the end of the world, NO!  

Do you have that kind of courage?  Do you have that much belief in yourself?  Do you have that much conviction in your dreams? These have been the thoughts that have been running around in my head as today is his big moving day and I have to say I have been surprised by my thoughts of “WHY NOT?” that keep coming up for me.  

If we do not have faith in ourselves, in our abilities and have the courage to stand up for what we believe in -  than are we really even living our own lives?  In the past, I had wasted so much time not living my life, living the life some one else thought I should have that now that I have the opportunity to live life on my own terms, I find that I am sometimes still riddled with conversations of the past telling me all the reasons why I can’t and the worst part is I start believe those voices.  Intellectually, I know how ridiculous this sounds but that crap still creeps in.  

So when does it ever go away?  The answer to that question is, when you stop caring what other people think, when you stop letting others insecurities and fears cloud you’re own judgment and you go after your own life and your own dreams on your own terms.  So I’d like to say thank you to my friend Anthony for reminding me that you are only as good as you believe you are.  I hope New York is ready for you my friend, best of luck and I’m so proud of you.  You are an inspiration!  :)  

Till next week,


Best in everyone else, worst in me!

Why is that sometimes we can’t see people for who they are-  but who we want them to be?  I have a definite problem with this and struggle with this in my own life.  I have always been the kind of person who sees the best in everyone.   I think my downfall is that I sometimes see so much more than the person does and then I get hurt or disappointed when I believe in someone more than they do.  Oprah has a tremendous quote that I really think I absolutely need to take to heart and that is “people will show you who they are, our job is to believe them”  for me I never do.  I always give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove me wrong and you know what they usually do.  And why is that?  Because I never believed what they showed me the first time around.

Its kinda crazy I have complete faith in someone else but very little in me?  Why is that?  Why is it that I can see the best in someone else but see only the worst in me?  Why can’t I look beyond myself and give myself the benefit of the doubt?  I guess the answer is because I was waiting for someone else to see my own potential.  I have been waiting my whole life for someone to notice that there is more to me than meets the eye and the truth is no one ever did; but, that was because I became really good at protecting myself.   As someone who not only didn’t like the way I looked on the outside I let it effect the way I felt about the kind of person I was on the inside, so much so that I started to really dislike all of me and no longer only parts of me.  Have you ever done that?  Ever hated the way you looked so much that you made it personal cause that is exactly what I did.  Truth is the person that it hurt the most was definitely myself.  Its hard to let someone in to love you when you hate who you are.  That other person never stands a chance, cause when you think of yourself as less than - you keep others at arms length afraid that they may learn you secret.  So of course they disappoint you but I’ve come to understand that this is your fault not theirs.  If you can’t be honest enough with yourself and who you are -  than how can you possibly be honest, truly honest with another?  In actuality your lying to someone, so the question is then who are you lying to yourself of the person/people that you love?

Being honest with yourself takes courage and strength and may be one of the hardest things you may do but it is truly a lesson we must all learn.  Where you are right now in your life?  Don’t make it better or worse just be honest with yourself and from this place you can move in a path of your own choosing.  I find it utterly ridiculous and quite disheartening that I have had so little faith in myself and have spent so much time protecting myself from people who could hurt me that I’ve missed out on some pretty incredible people as well as myself all of these years.  

So I have adopted a new plan and that is to have faith in myself, to believe in me - quiet the doubts that sometimes seem to consume my head space and also to take people as they show themselves to be.  How about you what are your plans?

Till next time,