Find your inner JLo

When was the last time you felt sexy?  Do you even know what it is to be sexy?  or what even makes a woman sexy?  Merrian-Webster defines sexy as generally attractive or appealing.  But to me sexy is more than that.  When you think of some of the sexiest people in Hollywood Jennifer Lopez always comes to mind, sure there are others but for me she epitomizes what sexy looks like.  You may think of someone else and that is totally fine, but my question to you is what is it about them that makes them sexy?  Sure they all have nice bodies, carry themselves a certain way and they exude confidence.  So then my question for you is confidence sexy?

I know my body is a constant work in progress as I am finally learning to love it and appreciate it as it is right now - so then the question comes up in my own brain do I have to wait to look like JLo to be sexy?  And I have to tell you for the first time ever the response surprised me cause it was Hell NO...  There are plenty of people who are sexy and aren’t a size two, being sexy is a state of mind not a dress size.  So why not add a little sexy to your day?  Why not surprise yourself and be attractive and appealing, we all know how to do that.  What is it that holds us back?  For me I know I’m out of practice, truly I don’t think I’ve ever felt particular sexy ever but then isn’t that my fault?  Absolutely, don’t let your brain give you some false images or false misconceptions or false talk to think that you can not be sexy cause that’s just plain silly.  

So I decided to sike myself out and try something new.  I have decided to do things that boost my confidence levels which for me includes working out and eating really healthy are always the best places to start.  I also decided to try on some clothes in the back of my closet that were a little snug and I have to say I was pleasantly thrilled cause they fit (hence the extra working out),  I also decided to pull out a pair of strappy shoes that I save for special occasions and pull out a pair of sexy underwear and guess what - when I had them on I felt sexy, I felt more like a woman, I felt more confident.  So why not do this every day - why does this have to be reserved for special occasions?  Isn’t every day that you are above ground a special occasion or possible could be?  So my challenge to you is to put on those strappy shoes, find clothes that fit your body and add some sexy undies to your life no one has to know.  :)  

Till next time,

Lisa

Do you ever really have control?

You know it's funny, I have always considered myself a bit of a control freak and when I have no control over a situation, I feel like a caged animal ready to attack or to run for me there has never been much of any other option.  So I recently took a look back at the events in my life to try and figure out how I can break this pattern cause I'm exhausted and over always trying to control every little detail of my life.  Have you ever felt that way?  I finally realized that I am a self-described control freak because I'm one big ball of fear.  

When my life felt upside-down, I realized that I then tried to control as many things in my life as I possible could because I felt so out of control and unhappy with my own life.  Have you ever done that?  Have you ever tried to control everything for fear that if you didn't things would get worse?  But I finally realized that the reason I have become such a control nutcase even today is because I have lived my life in a state of fear for so long and I finally realized where that fear came from, it came from me!  

I made certain concessions, even though I knew I shouldn't in my life, I settled for less than I should have but I have always that that since I made those decisions I was in control.  Could it be possible that I was DEAD WRONG?  I think it is very possible that because I thought less of me, I settled for less than what I deserved and I was miserable - that I then scrounged around and had to control everything else around me for fear that I would give away more or settle for less than once again.  Not really addressing the main issue but merely trying to cover it up once again.  

So I took away my own trust in me, my own trust in people and tried to hide behind my shield of power and control.  You can only hide and protect yourself for so long and then eventually you realize that if you don't deal with your crap from your past, you bring it into your present and eventually your future.  And the really cool thing is when you can make the correlation, you notice what you are doing and you are able to make better and informed decisions going forward.   For me, I also realized that this isn't just about being out of control in one area in my life because that certainly flows over into my relationship that I have with myself, with my body and with food.  When your life feels out of control - what or who do you turn to?  And when you are trying to gain that control back - what do you obsess about that you then tend to try and over control or over analyze?  Just some questions ratting around in my head, isn't that what life is all about learning from your mistakes and moving forward?  I sure as heck think so.  So I'm trying a new thing, I'm giving up my self-imposed title of control freak and gonna try really, really hard to trust and to be honest and to love myself and stop trying to hide behind a false sense of bravado.

Till next time,

Lisa

Angels among us

Support systems are crucial to all of us.  They are a select group of special people in our lives that champion for us even when we don’t - these people are truly among life’s most amazing gifts.  I have been truly blessed in my life to have a few people who have been there with me through thick and thin, who have always somehow found a way to say the right thing at the right time, and who have truly made my life better because of them.  If it weren’t for these incredible people, I have no idea where I would be today.  I am extremely grateful that these “angels “are in my life.   And I truly hope that everyone has an angel or two in you own life who you can be honest with, who knows you at the depths of your soul, and who can lift you when you need it most.  These people can be your mom, dad, best friend, long-time friend or even a new friend that you really click with on a different level but they truly help shape the person that you are.  I also hope that you get to return the favor and be there for them when they need you the most.  

I have always believed that people come into our lives for a reason and if you feel bad about yourself you have a tendency to withdraw and hide a bit, even from ourselves sometimes.  This is no place to be.  Learned that lesson the hard way - that this is not living at all.  Not being present is robbing your friends and family of the beauty of who you are.  So why do we do that?  I have found for me that this was because of some silly and/or dumb fear that I manifested in my own head.  These fears popped up because I was feeling uncertain about myself, or about a situation, or about the people around me.  So I would shut down and cut myself off; but, then I realized that I was missing way to much of life and I was missing the joy of meeting the people who were coming into my life.  I never got to know the beauty of who they were or vice versa and I felt like I had cheated myself.  I would actually catch myself sometimes, shutting down right in front of people and I decided it was time for a major change.  Now, if you meet me I’m way more open and outgoing and even when I am still uncomfortable I still make myself be present and meet new people with a smile.  So I’d like to offer you a challenge of sorts, be bold, be present and become an angel to someone around you.  The world would be such a better place if it were filled with the amazing gifts of ourselves coming from a place of love and kindness.  Not to mention the fact that when you give an act of kindness like that I believe the universe gives that kind of kindness back to you tenfold so you really have nothing to loose and only fabulousness to gain.  Don’t you think?

Till next time,

Lisa