We all have expectations of how things should be. We all have expectations of what we want out of life or even out of just today. But the question than comes up when you let other people influence your expectations - who’s expectations are they theirs or yours? When you fail to reach another’s expectations does it make it any easier or harder on you? And then what happens to what you want, to your expectations? Do they get lost? Pushed aside? Forgotten?
All too often we get consumed with trying to please other people, that we forget to learn to please ourself. If you are a people pleaser like me, I have a hard time remembering that I matter, that what I want counts more than another’s. It took me a long, long time to realize that if I don’t take care of me first - than I won’t be around to take care of anyone else. And truth is - its a lesson I seem to keep learning. I have been last on my own list for so long, I was programed to believe that others wants, needs, desires and dreams meant somehow more than mine. It wasn’t until my life came crumbling down that I realized that I didn’t even know what I wanted, or what was right for me, or what I needed to fill myself up - because I had been pushing aside me for such a long time. I felt wrong and selfish for even saying that I wanted something more in my life. But what I have learned through my life is that you can’t make another happy, until you are happy yourself. You can’t love another, until you learn to love yourself. And how can you possible do these things if you don’t even know what you really want because you are so use to pushing ”you” aside. The answer is you can’t. You have to learn to listen to your own heart, your own head, create your own life, and create your own expectations. Stop trying to live someone else’s life. We only get one life, we only get one shot at this and I know I sure as heck was tired of trying to please everyone else and never able to please myself.
Truly, now that I have but myself first, my life has been enriched a million times over because there is so much more of me to give to others and life is now a gift to me every day as opposed to something that I just had to survive and get through. What do you think? Are you living your life according to your expectations or another’s? And how fulfilled are you?
Till next time,