Why do we get so much push back from ourselves? Why is it so scary to stand up for yourself and speak your mind and tell someone exactly what you want from them? If I believe in happiness & that it is something that you create - how can you create happiness with someone if you are afraid to tell someone that something is bothering you? The short answer is you can't. So if you can't learn to communicate, be open, honest with yourself and those who love us - how do we ever think we are gonna move past our old BS and pasts?
The truth is trusting someone is so hard to do, but when you've been betrayed it feels like Mount Everest sometimes? Do we really expect to always be betrayed - I don't believe that at all. One persons actions does not equal another's. But what I think is the hardest lesson for me to learn and wrap my brain around is that I betrayed myself first.
So now that life has presented me with amazing opportunity to trust another person - the question remains have I truly learned from my mistakes? Can I truly trust another completely? And most importantly will I betray me again? The problem is there are no easy answers - the only way to test and see if I've learned my lesson is to truly give this a try. And, we're not talking about sticking your toe in the water - we're talking about going all the way in so you can't touch the bottom. So are you gonna sink or swim? So far I've been swimming but when I freak out, have a melt down about something that really isn't relevant to now and is more about my own insecurities - I feel like I swallow a giant mouth full of water and I'm treading water. To me treading water is like being stuck. And, it comes down to a simple question are you gonna learn to trust and swim or are you gonna stay stuck in fear and eventually sink? That choice is absolutely yours and I don't know about you but I'm so over being afraid that I'm swimming and never looking back. :)
Till next time,