This week I watched the Institute for Psychology of Eating’s quick video “We don’t know how much anyone should weigh” and it really stuck with me…. the lines “way to many people are giving way to much of their power to a number that they have invented…” and “I will be happy, lovable and the real me as soon as I hit this magic number”. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have been guilty of so much of this.
I have hated my body for decades! I had a horrible relationship with my body and I became an expert at beating the crap out of myself for everything my body wasn’t daily. My body was a constant let down as I could never measure up to the magic number or vision of me in my head.
I was always on a diet, always trying to lose weight, exercising to the point of hurting myself and the scale never moved in the right direction. And, in truth it wasn’t until I finally figured out that I had celiac disease that my relationship with my body changed.
My relationship with my body had to change when I realized that despite the decades of eating foods that were poison to me, (because I was never diagnosed properly despite the host of doctors that I had been to since I was a child) despite all tons of diet disappointments, despite the way I had disconnected from my body, and despite all the nastiness… I was still here! My body had protected me through it all and I was still here. And, it was in those moments that I realized it was high time I learn to appreciate my body for the incredible machine and miracle that it is.
Learning to retrain my brain to think of my body as an incredible machine truly helped me transition and focus more better quality foods. It could no longer be about what wasn’t, it had to be about what is, today! By constantly figuring out what works best for my body to survive and ultimately thrive. This made removing gluten an easy option to never look back. I cannot change the relationship that I had with food, my diet, my health and my body but I sure can now. I chose to make better choices every day.
I have had to rebuild my health from scratch as I was really ill and had lots of additional complications all stemming from gluten issues and celiac disease. This has taken a tremendous amount of patience, time and believing in yourself even when your loved ones are making very different choices for their bodies at every turn.
As someone with celiac disease it is not uncommon to actually gain weight once your body starts to absorb the vitamins and minerals that you are putting in your mouth. This truly doesn’t work well with the psyche of woman who has been overweight since childhood. I actually weigh more now; however, my body is healthier than it has ever been. I have a better relationship with my body. And, I actually have a better appreciation of all the drama that I have caused it. Along the way I have had to learn to be kinder to me and the way I treat my body.
The challenge for me happens because the healthier my body becomes, the easier I find that I still fall into old habits of giving away my power in search of my magic number now sans the gluten. I know eventually my body will get what it needs and release what it doesn’t now that I am eating a super clean gluten free yummy foods and am learning the art of self care. Its the patience and the magic numbers that still challenge me. However, I chose to be happy, healthy, lovable and the real me today and not wait for some day anymore.
How about you? Do you struggle with your own magic number that you are trying to reach? Have you given away your power? And,
If gluten is an issue for you have you found yourself feeling different about your body after you knew? After your diagnosis? Did it change the way you feel about your body? How you treat yourself? What you say to yourself?
Commit to yourself to making your health a real priority, be kinder to you everyday and focus on changing some of your habits by taking consistent action towards your health, your healing and your life. And, should you need some additional help I'm here to help, check out my blog, or even my book if you need more information (it’s full of goodies) Gluten Free Guide to a Healthy-Do-Over. Isn’t it time to live the best life that we can? I’m certainly ready, how about you?