The Difference Between Happy and Happier

What is happiness? And who is to say what is happy for one person - is happy for another? I have spent my entire life searching for happiness in all the wrong places. I always thought I'd be happy when I had a laundry list of things including a husband, a home, a family, etc... The problem is when you make happy unattainable. How are you suppose to ever find it? And, if you do find it will you even recognize it when you have it?

On my quest for happiness I actually achieved all the things that I thought would make me happy but I was further away from the "happiness" than I ever had been. So now what? Where do you go from getting it completely backwards to finding that illusive thing called happiness?  I believe happiness comes from being true to you. No one can make you happy, no matter how hard they try. Sure they can create magic moments and show you glimpses of happiness but it doesn't last. And, how could it be anyone else's responsibility to make you happy?

Being happy comes from inside you. Happiness is a feeling, it is a state of being and it's what you tell yourself everyday. If you tell yourself that you are happy, eventually you will train yourself to feel that everyday. And, if you tell yourself your not, that no one can ever make you happy, that life is not fair, then you know what - you are right. Whatever you tell yourself, you are right. It's where you live your life in your head is what is your truth.

If you give up pieces of you for another, that's not how you find happiness. You can't turn yourself inside out and upside down to the point that you lose sight of what's truly important to you and who you are. Losing yourself or reinventing yourself in the name of happiness for another doesn't lead you to the path of happiness for either of you.

Happiness only comes when you finally figure out who you are, what you want, what you stand for and you accept that. You don't make excuses for who you are, you work on being the best you, you can be. It's your job to recognize what brings a smile to your face like a manicure and pedicure, a great cup of coffee, a phone call with a great friend, a movie, a day at the beach, writing in a journal are all examples of things that make me happy. The thing is I always had a disconnect, I never realized that, that is happy and that I am happy.

I always thought that being happy was connected to being in a committed relationship with that special person. I had equated happiness to another and truth is, that's not fair. How could anyone know what happiness means to me, when I didn't even know? The answer is he couldn't and it’s not his job. It's mine. He is responsible for tipping the scales and making me "ER" happier, but he is not responsible for making me happy. He is the icing on the cake, but he can't be the cake.

So find out what makes you happy and enjoy your life and live your life in a better head space, it makes a world of difference. And be grateful for the special people in your life and appreciate them and realize your role in their life is to be the "ER" to them, never the happy.

Lisa Marichal is an Expert Body Image Consultant, Speaker and Writer who helps women and girls realize their own potential and gifts within themselves. You can visit her at [http://healthydoover.com/articles/] to learn more.

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